Maria Jacobson '14
DEBRA, a woman
CHRISTOPHER, a man
SOCK, a sock
DEBRA, CHRISTOPHER, and SOCK sit in a plain room with white walls. DEBRA and CHRISTOPHER stand at opposite sides of the room with a chair at center stage. The sock lies on the floor. Anywhere downstage. DEBRA and CHRISTOPHER begin to laugh without smiling. This continues for a few minutes. CHRISTOPHER stops and looks toward the audience.
Why are you laughing.
Lights up on DEBRA and CHRISTOPHER sitting on top of each other in the chair. DEBRA on top. They turn their heads to look at each other when they speak.
Hello Christopher. What did you do today?
I fell in love.
Oh. With whom?
What did you say? I couldn’t hear you over the din.
The din of the refrigerator. It’s loud and obnoxious.
Well, all I said was “Oh, with whom?” Who did you fall in love with?
I saw her on the TEEEEEEEE-VEEEEEEEEEurrrrrrrrrgrgrggrglrlrlrgrrrrrrrggrlrlrl
(The ee sound turns into a low, gurgling noise.)
(Over the gurgling)
(CHRISTOPHER stops, pause)
Lights up on DEBRA sitting in the chair while CHRISTOPHER crawls around the room, apparently looking for something. He plops down, dejected.
(Speaking fast, determined)
And then I said, “ok ok ok ok ok!”
(He begins to scratch behind his ear)
Listen! Stop! Alright? Jeez.
I said, “ok ok ok, but where, like WHEEYYY-ERRRR are we going when we’re just sitting in this room… by ourselves… on this mountain… by ourselves… on this PLANET… by ourselves… I mean, ok ok ok we’re just sitting here and it’s, oh GOD, I mean OHHH GODDDD WHERE ARE WE??” And he says—
I know what he says.
And he says that—
(Suddenly very angry)
I KNOW GODDAMN WELL WHAT HE SAYS!!
Long silence. They stare at each other. SOCK begins to cry. They both look at sock. Long pause.
Now look what you’ve done.
Lights up on CHRISTOPHER and DEBRA both sitting in chairs equidistant from center. They look at SOCK. SOCK begins to speak.
Froufrou. F-R-O-U-F-R-O-U. Froufrou.
(CHRISTOPHER and DEBRA clap. They will do this after every word.)
Gelatin. G-E-L-A-T-I-N. Gelatin.
Abscess. A-B-S-C-E-S-S. Abscess.
Obelisk. O-B-E-L-I-S-K. Obelisk.
Bouillon. B-O-U-I-L-L-O-N. Bouillon.
Euthanasia. E-U-T-H-A-N-A-S-I-A. Euthanasia.
Its. I-T-APOSTROPHE-S. Its.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE VOICE
Ohhh, I’m sorry. The correct spelling is I-T-S. You spelled the conjunction of “it is” when you should have spelled the possessive of “it” as in its owner or its partner.
Long pause. DEBRA and CHRISTOPHER both stare at SOCK.
I am female, and I go to Bennington College.