April 2012 - Comments Off

Feelings

Maria Jacobson '14

                                                                                      DEBRA, a woman
                                                                                      CHRISTOPHER, a man
                                                                                      SOCK, a sock

                                                                                      DEBRA, CHRISTOPHER, and SOCK sit in a plain room with white walls. DEBRA and CHRISTOPHER stand at opposite sides of the                                                                                       room with a chair at center stage. The sock lies on the floor. Anywhere downstage. DEBRA and CHRISTOPHER begin to laugh                                                                                       without smiling. This continues for a few minutes. CHRISTOPHER stops and looks toward the audience.

                                                                                      CHRISTOPHER
Why are you laughing.

                                                                                      Black out.

                                                                                      Lights up on DEBRA and CHRISTOPHER sitting on top of each other in the chair. DEBRA on top. They turn their heads to look at                                                                                       each other when they speak.

                                                                                      DEBRA
Hello Christopher. What did you do today?

                                                                                      CHRISTOPHER
I fell in love.

                                                                                      DEBRA
Oh. With whom?

                                                                                      CHRISTOPHER
What did you say? I couldn’t hear you over the din.

                                                                                      DEBRA
What din?

                                                                                      CHRISTOPHER
The din of the refrigerator. It’s loud and obnoxious.

                                                                                      DEBRA
Well, all I said was “Oh, with whom?” Who did you fall in love with?

                                                                                      CHRISTOPHER
I saw her on the TEEEEEEEE-VEEEEEEEEEurrrrrrrrrgrgrggrglrlrlrgrrrrrrrggrlrlrl
                                                      (The ee sound turns into a low, gurgling noise.)

                                                                                      DEBRA
                                                      (Over the gurgling)
Ah, yes.
                                                      (CHRISTOPHER stops, pause)
Television.

                                                                                      Black out.

                                                                                      Lights up on DEBRA sitting in the chair while CHRISTOPHER crawls around the room, apparently looking for something. He plops                                                                                       down, dejected.

                                                                                      DEBRA
                                                      (Speaking fast, determined)
And then I said, “ok ok ok ok ok!”
                                                      (He begins to scratch behind his ear)
Listen! Stop! Alright? Jeez.
                                                      (He stops)
I said, “ok ok ok, but where, like WHEEYYY-ERRRR are we going when we’re just sitting in this room… by ourselves… on this mountain… by ourselves… on this PLANET… by ourselves… I mean, ok ok ok we’re just sitting here and it’s, oh GOD, I mean OHHH GODDDD WHERE ARE WE??” And he says—

                                                                                      CHRISTOPHER
I know what he says.

                                                                                      DEBRA
                                                      (Overlapping)
And he says that—

                                                                                      CHRISTOPHER
                                                      (Suddenly very angry)
I KNOW GODDAMN WELL WHAT HE SAYS!!

Long silence. They stare at each other. SOCK begins to cry. They both look at sock. Long pause.

                                                                                      DEBRA
Now look what you’ve done.

                                                                                      Black out.

                                                                                      Lights up on CHRISTOPHER and DEBRA both sitting in chairs equidistant from center. They look at SOCK. SOCK begins to speak.

                                                                                      SOCK
Froufrou. F-R-O-U-F-R-O-U. Froufrou.
(CHRISTOPHER and DEBRA clap. They will do this after every word.)
Gelatin. G-E-L-A-T-I-N. Gelatin.
                                                      (Clap)
Abscess. A-B-S-C-E-S-S. Abscess.
                                                      (Clap)
Obelisk. O-B-E-L-I-S-K. Obelisk.
                                                      (Clap)
Bouillon. B-O-U-I-L-L-O-N. Bouillon.
                                                      (Clap)
Euthanasia. E-U-T-H-A-N-A-S-I-A. Euthanasia.
                                                      (Clap)
Its. I-T-APOSTROPHE-S. Its.

                                                      (Loud Buzzer)

                                                                                      UNIDENTIFIED MALE VOICE
                                                      (Very announcer-y)
Ohhh, I’m sorry. The correct spelling is I-T-S. You spelled the conjunction of “it is” when you should have spelled the possessive of “it” as in its owner or its partner.

Long pause. DEBRA and CHRISTOPHER both stare at SOCK.

                                                                                      SOCK
Fuck.

                                                                                      Black out.
                                                                                      End scene.

I am female, and I go to Bennington College.

Published by: in Prose, Volume 68

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