Tommy Chang Consumes Us All
Tommy Chang, he doesn’t have a right hemisphere. His entire brain grew on the left side. What’s on his right side? Nothing. Doctors are afraid it’s a black hole that will slowly expand until it consumes us all.
But Tommy Chang isn’t worried; all Tommy Chang can see is colors, so it really doesn’t matter.
Tommy Chang goes to sleep in a different bed every night. Or maybe it’s the same bed, Tommy Chang can’t really tell.
Still, Tommy Chang is happy. Or, he’s what you call happy. He’s smiling, so he seems fine.
Anyway, back to the black hole. It’s been growing relevant to his head for the last several years, but, seeing as Tommy Chang’s head isn’t getting any bigger, there’s a chance that the black hole won’t grow and consume us all.
But now doctors are asking, what happens when Tommy Chang dies? Will Tommy Chang decompose? Will the black hole decompose with him?
Nobody’s talking about killing Tommy, of course (he’s only seventeen). But everybody’s curious. And the chances of Tommy Chang dying before he reaches eighteen are pretty high. Everything’s so crazy these days, ever since Nixon.
Once upon a time, I asked Tommy what he thinks about. Tommy looked at me, and said, “One is a really big number.”
Fucking hell, Tommy Chang, I guess you’re right.